My fall

What a strange fall it has been. I should not write these things at night anymore. Or maybe at all, except that a few people out there still read them. I just read through the few posts I've written since September, and realized how much life has changed. (I also realized that if you knew me only by my blog you'd think that I should probably be on some sort of up-lifting medication). At the beginning of September I had a boyfriend, I felt like teaching was this insane challenge that there was no way I could do alone (boyfriend was a teacher and tons of help), and I was totally nervous to the point that I actually lost like 5 or 10 pounds in my first two weeks (that has since returned.)

Today I have no boyfriend and I am managing to teach everyday, sometimes by the seat of my pants, but they're learning something anyways... I have confidence that even though I'm not the greatest teacher now, I have potential and I think someday I can be a great teacher. I'm not super close with many teachers at work, but I've recieved enough positive feedback that I think I'll be ok. It seems like September was yesterday in some ways, but in others I feel so much OLDER.

I went to Edmonton over the weekend, and had a complete blast. I didn't take work (which means that I spent one whole day NOT working!) and I hung out with the girls, made waffles, decorated Christmas cookies, shopped, dressed up, and went to a party at a mansion. (see sweet pictures below.)

It was SO fun. I felt young, and that is weird almost. My life is so serious here, it seems. I have fun and everything, but for some reason it seems like I am two people. Not to any extreme, but still there is this divide between "teacher Hannah" and "friend Hannah." I'm not totally sure how to balance that or if I should be one or the other or what. But for now it works because my two lives are in two separate locations.

It seems a bit strange that I haven't talked about boys in a long time. With the exception of my ex, I haven't really had a subject in mind, and I suppose that dwelling on my ex is not something that is exceptionally fun, so I just don't. This weekend was fun because of the "guy" thing. Good times, ego boost, and awesome stuff to talk about on my blog. Not depressing at all.

Guys are aggravating. I've gone to church my whole life, and do you know the number of "church-guys" who have shown interest in me at all? zero. nil. none. zip. I'm not that horrible looking (see sweet pictures) and I have a relatively good personality, but still, nada. I went to my old church last week, which I miss terribly, and the one time a brother of a friend shows up (not a "church" guy) HE thinks I'm really cute. So, what was stopping the thousand other guys? Why am I not attractive to them? Its all very confusing and freaking frusterating. Like I said. Guys are aggravating. I also might have a not-so-blind date coming up with a friend of the girls. Overall, the weekend was definitely not a complete bust. :)

Ok, so for your viewing pleasure, one last hot shot of Carolyn and I. I realize I'm totally egotistical tonight, but how often does that happen? I'm totally allowed once a year.