quick rant:

What is with people that pull up inches behind you in the drive-through? I mean. I understand the concept of the drive-through – stay in your cars, get as many through as possible, convenience and speed, etc, etc. But is it really necessary for you (usually in a truck that screams “I AM COMPENSATING!” – welcome to Sherwood Park) to practically massage the bumper of the person in front of you? I hear you all now: “but I know my car, I’m not too close, I know exactly where I am!” Well, that’s great for you. But maybe I don’t really know mine. Maybe I don’t know how far you are away from me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I like my bumper the way it is. Maybe I drive a stick and I’m going to roll back several inches when I put it into gear. Maybe I don’t give a crap how well you know your cars bumpers, but I don’t know YOU that well, and want you out of my frigging personal space. Just back off. Giving me a foot or two of comfort zone is NOT going to back up the line at Tim Horton’s any further than it already is backed up, and believe me, you will not get to the window one second faster by looming in my rearview mirror.

Have a special day.

drug-induced sleep

I just woke up from a 2 hour nap. I get bad headaches, and I have medication that I can take for them. This medication doesn’t always put me to sleep, but if I take enough of it, I know it will put me to sleep in short order. This knowledge, combined with the fact that I haven’t been sleeping great in my 35 degree Celsius apartment resulted in a wonderful drug-induced nap that I haven’t yet fully awakened from. Its weird because I know that I took an extra pill just so that I could completely sleep – really really hard. I don’t know if this is a bad thing, but I figure as long as I’m not taking medication regularly to sleep its not a bit deal. I’ve just been so tired and lethargic, and when its so hot everywhere, and there is no relief, its nice to be able to sleep through it, even if it is only just for a couple of hours. Plus, my headache seems to have lessened, at least for a while.

Now the part where I talk about guys (or in my case, the guy). I called my Uncle and Aunt's in the States. My parents and sister left on Saturday to go visit them, so I called today to make sure that they were happy and healthy and all that. I started talking to my Uncle, who is a pastor down there, and immediately the guy came up. This is not such a surprise, as my Uncle is a pastor, and he loves to make people think (and he loves to make people uncomfortable). But he asked me important stuff about where this guy was spiritually, and how does he lead me, and I had to say, right off the bat, that he doesn’t lead me. He hasn’t been a strong believer as long as I have, and he isn’t at the same place as me. He also asked me what this guy does that makes me know that he is a Christian, and because I had just woken up and because it was just so immediate and flooring, I just said that I didn’t know. I want this guy to be that for me – a spiritual leader, and a strong Christian, and I don’t think that its something that is out of reach, but I’ve always said that I wouldn’t “missionary date” either, where I date someone and hope they become what I want them to be. My Uncle just said, well I know what to pray about then, and that was that. He’s awesome and I love my family so much, and I couldn’t marry someone that they weren’t 100% behind either.

Its making me think though, besides church attendance, what do I do that would make people know that I’m a Christian? I’m nice, I try not to gossip, etc etc, but a lot of people who don’t have faith do that because they have good morals. I haven’t been very consistent with my Bible reading lately, and besides the guy, I haven’t shared my beliefs with anyone in a long time. I’m feeling very hypocritical. I can call myself a Christian, and I have faith, but if its not acted out, then how do other people know its there? To most people I’m probably just a sweet girl, who can be opinionated, and who goes to church on Sunday. Basically, I’m describing a large percentage of the female population, and to me being a real Christian is so much more than that. Why do I have such a hard time living up to the standards that I set for everyone else in my life, and do I have the right to set the bar higher for everyone else, when I’m not making the bar myself?

But I miss him

I have turned into one of those girls I hate. I can do the whole “social outing” thing, and pull off that I am having fun, and for moments, I can have genuine fun. But for the next 3 weeks, I’m really sort of faking it. My boyfriendish-sort-of-thing is on a vacation, which he is completely entitled to, and actually has cut short because of me, I think. This leaves me alone, and really not wanting to do anything or go anywhere at all. Its like I’ve turned into one of those whiney “I miss him so much” types. And I have! I don’t think that I whine all that much, but in reality I could; I’m just able to control myself somewhat. In my mind though, I miss him like crazy. Of course I want him to relax, have fun, etc, etc, but I also want him to come home and be with me. Its very selfish of me, I know. But I think when you care about someone and they leave, there is a hole left, that only they can fill. And when they’re not there to fill it, it just sucks, and you have no motivation at all. Another cookie please.

An assortment of updates

I currently do approximately 1 to 1 ½ hours of work per day. I get paid for 7 and ¼ hours of work. Now, to most people this would sound joyful! I can do anything I want for the 6 left-over hours! Read, talk on the phone, plan my parents anniversary, put album covers with all the songs on my iPod… short of leaving my office I can pretty much spend the day doing, well, whatever I want. Unfortunately, this is not what I want to be doing. I was raised to work at work, and do other stuff on my own time. I dread going to work because there is literally NOTHING for me to do here. I open some mail, do a bit of filing, stamp the date on things… and I know this is just “summer at my job.” During the fall, winter and spring there is tons to do, and never enough time to do it, but during the summer, oh wow… the workload slows from a waterfall to a trickle. A very weak sad little trickle. I think my job is slowly sucking the life out of me.

On the up-side, I have read the first 4 Harry Potter books in the last few weeks, and I’m on the 5th. Totally addicting, and honestly just good fun.

I’m bringing a boy home to meet my parents this weekend. I’m also planning a party for their 25th anniversary, so it will be an insanely busy weekend, but he’s important to me, and this is the only weekend before I move that this will actually work. Plus, he drives a 4-runner, so he will be a big help in picking stuff up for the party…

I’m moving in like 4 ½ weeks. Moving cities… different address, phone number, everyone I know will be a long distance call away… such an odd thought. Moving brings with it a lot of expenses. Like, for instance, furniture. I bought a bed, couch, loveseat, and TV the other day. I have never spent so much money in one day before. Quite the nerve-racking ordeal, I could hardly sleep that night. (Good thing my job isn’t exactly overly-demanding).

The whole relationship thing is interesting. I’ve never been very good at “labeling” in a relationship. I am in the 1% of girls that can survive without definition of what “we” are. I’ve never called this person my boyfriend, but my friends refer to him as that all the time, because it reduces confusion when talking about him. He is this guy, who I want to spend all of my time with, who knows me better than 99% of the people in my life do, who can’t get enough of me (tee hee) and who I don’t want to move away from. Ever. But we haven’t ever said that we’re officially “dating” because we started as friends. There wasn’t a defining day that changed things for us, just a slow evolution of the relationship, to the point that he is meeting my parents… Somehow I’m ok with the lack of “official definition” though. I’m secure in whatever it is that we are, and I know that we’re both exclusive to one another, so it’s ok just the way it is.

Well this was a sort of a mish-mash of thoughts today. I’m going to make an attempt to keep this thing updated over the next couple of months. Lots of changes and more life-sucking job stories are sure to come!