Today was one of those mediocre days. It wasn't especially bad, but it wasn't especially good either. Plans fell through, but I got a lot done at home too. Built a shelf, took down Christmas decorations... back to regular life.
I hate getting ditched. Its worse when you barely know the people, too. Because you don't know who to call or who to talk to. And I don't think it was on purpose, but I would have liked to know what was (or wasn't) happening. I think I'll stick to the story that they don't have the number right.
I start my new job tomorrow. I hate "night before's." With a passion. I can never sleep. Doesn't matter if I'm skiing, teaching, or whatever else it might be. And "night before first day's" are even worse. New experiences are hell. I remember the night before I left for Africa I was so sick. I didn't think I could do it. But I did. And before my first day last September. Same thing. And tonight might not be as bad as that, and the build up sure wasn't there. I haven't felt the sick-to-my-stomach, chest tightness, do-I-have-everything-ready feeling until today... this afternoon actually. But now I do. And I hate not sleeping so much it makes me want to cry. I know everything will go well. It always does. And if something gets totally messed up, that will be fixed too somehow I'm sure. I just want to sleep tonight.
That's why I took a sleeping pill.
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