Sleep and the Lack Thereof

I am one of those people who likes to get their eight hours. I mean really really likes it. I'm a little bit mad at the clock when I look at it and I know that there is no way that I can get it tonight, I can only possibly get like 7 hours 53 minutes, and that is if I go to bed right now.

So the fact that my computer clock says its 12:02 makes me so frusterated right now. Why am I taking time out to write in this blog then? Because its not like I haven't tried tonight. I went to bed over an hour and a half ago. I shut my light off about an hour and 20 minutes ago. I know thats not a lot of time, but it very rarely takes me this long to fall asleep.

For some reason, nothing will shut off tonight. My brain, stomach, bladder, neck ... all are complaining. If I lay one way I feel a bit sick. If I lay another, I feel like I have to pee (I've been up twice already because of that), another way and my neck is being pulled one way or another. And regardless of the position or area of my bed I am sleeping on, my mind won't quit. I've got some worship song from church this morning going around (something about "you are the rock, living in us, you are the God, in whom we trust, ..." something catchy and mind numbing, not slow and melodic), and when thats not there, I'm thinking of the "Les poisson" song from the little mermaid, or the "Gaston" song from Beauty and the beast, or the "Just can't wait to be king" song from the lion king. I have had a thing recently for disney soundtracks. Now they're driving me insane.

Regardless of the song that is rolling around, I've got teaching stuff on my brain. I know I have a busy week ahead of me, but I haven't had a day without work in a LONG time. Even when i was home last weekend, I did some work everyday so that i would be ready for Tuesday, when I had to go back. This weekend I did my "professional growth plan" on friday night, cleaned and marked on Saturday, and finished marking and planned for this week (or at least the begninning of it) today. I just want a day off. Where I don't have to think about what I have to do.

And on top of everything I get to worry about parents that I need to call, students I need to convince to hand in their homework, and the fact that come December 31, I HAVE NO JOB anymore, and I might have to sub insane classes who are hell for subs. I don't want to sub - I have NO desire at all to babysit someone elses class. I like the fact that I can build relationships with my kids, even though they do drive me nuts. The ONLY thing that would be good about subbing is the fact that I wouldn't have planning and marking to do every night and weekend.

Oh, and usually money and my lack of it seeps into my brain as well, because not only do I owe for normal stuff like furniture and credit cards, but I get to start paying off my student loans, and I haven't paid my parents back the money I owe them. And I feel terrible about that, more than anything I think.

Now my ears are ringing. This is new and different.

Ok, I'm ranting, its late. I did take a bunch of headache medication (again without a headache - bad Hannah) because it normally makes me drowsy, and I figured maybe it would shut off my incessant thinking and singing.

I'm going to go attempt sleeping again. Knowing that I can only get 5 hours and 45 minutes from now. I think I might have dozed a bit before. Thank goodness for Tim Hortons. Maybe I won't be completely useless tomorrow. I think I might be a little OCD.