Thoughts on Saturday

I can't do homework on Saturday. I can't do much else either, but there is just something inside me that rebels at the suggestion of being productive on Saturday. Saturday's are meant for sleeping in, relaxing, and in my case, feeling slightly “off” all day. It’s not a normal day, and my body knows it.

So, in light of the fact that I’m not doing any homework, what is filling my day today? Well, I watched “Love Actually,” which I’ve seen once before. It was definitely better the second time. There is one slightly disturbing story line, but also some really incredible ones, and as a movie about love, generally it is amazing. Not that I believe that love is what it is in the movies, but if the movie's message is supposed to be that love is defined differently depending on the relationship, and if the movie is supposed to make you want to find love, then it achieves it's objectives.

What do I know about love though? I’ve never been in love, but I thought that maybe I was once, a few years ago. There are just those people in life who, if they said, “marry me tomorrow, or never” you would marry them tomorrow. I’m a relatively practical sort of person, and based on his history, and how well I know him, I would probably say “sure, let’s do it.” I thought I might love one of those people once, but that was a long time ago, and he’s most definitely moved on, and so have I, honestly. Just sometimes you wonder.

After the movie was finished a friend came over to fix my computer. Yay for friends who are willing to help you, and expect food in return. Food I can do. Money is another issue completely. And now what? I’m going to go pour myself another cup of coffee, and maybe check what’s on TV.

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately (but that’s pretty standard, with an over-analyzer such as me). I have a problem with saying stuff that is not necessarily the most thoughtful or sensitive to the given situation, whatever it might be. Depending on the medium of communication, sometimes I can keep myself in check, but occasionally forethought slips away and I stick my foot in my mouth look like an idiot, and then live to regret it. I hate it that it’s so easy to hurt people, even without meaning to, when there are no bad intentions. It doesn’t change the outcome though. At least I have friends that will call me on it. I don’t think that I’m nearly as bad as I was in high school, so I guess baby steps are the way to go. Hopefully I don’t distance myself from too many people in the mean time. There are always things to work on, regardless of personality; this is just one of mine.

Another thing I’ve been thinking. I hate application forms. Particularly the “hobbies” section. I don’t really have hobbies, I’m not one of those super-athletic, team-sport type of people, and I’m not crafty enough to call “scrap-booking” a hobby, nor am I culinary enough to say that I “love spending time in the kitchen,” or anything like that. I don’t write enough, or well enough to say that I’m an “aspiring writer.” What do I do in my spare time, outside of school? Nap, watch TV, run errands, keep myself alive, just do life. The problem is that I’m not so inclined towards one particular area to a large enough extent that it can be considered a “hobby” in my opinion. Am I really that uninteresting?

Well enough deep (or shallow) reflection for today, maybe I’ll do a little reading. Reading is good, and it isn’t watching TV, so I don’t feel so guilty about it.