Losing it

I feel like I'm losing it sometimes. Like right now for instance. I feel completely overwhelmed. And not just a little bit, like "oh I'm so busy ha ha" overwhelmed, but like "truck running over me, and not one of the little ones" overwhelmed. I need more time. I need a break SO bad that I am crying for no reason. Just completely breaking down. All alone. I don't think I'm unhappy, but I just don't know how to get it all done. I know it will get done, but the process to getting there just seems so... hard I guess. Impossible. Everest. Tiring. I am SO tired. I'm dreading Christmas and I know I shouldn't dread Christmas. I just have so much to do before then, and during then, and every task seems insurmountable. I feel like I'm carrying so much, and I just want help. I want someone to tell me that I don't have to do it all. I don't have to do Christmas, and skiing and New Years, and all the work and soreness and everything. I just want to do nothing. Just nothing. Absolutely nothing. For like a month. I don't even know if that would be long enough. A month seems short all of a sudden. Maybe two or three. Or a year. I have been working for so long, and every break is filled with homework or marking, or some other major event... long weekends are too short. I just need to breathe. Breathing would be good. I need to be away, to have space, to not feel like if I could die from this then I would be dead. I need hope. I need to feel like I'm not failing, like I'm worth something, like I'm not gross looking and overweight. I just need air. Air would be good. Instead I'm going to go get sleep, and tomorrow I will work. And the next day I will work, and the next day I will work. And everything will just be. Just like it always is. And nothing will change. And I will be tired. And consumed.