The significance of 4 weeks

First of all, I’m sorry its been so long since I updated this thing. I’m in the middle of practicum – ’nuff said.

In 4 weeks a lot of things end. My life as a student, a major part of my “definition of me” for the last 19 years, will be done. My bachelor of education will be done. My post secondary education will be done. My practicum will be done. I can honestly say that life as I know it will be over.

Its actually a bit sad, really. The one thing that I’ve been good at, pretty steadily, throughout my entire life, will be the one thing I’m losing. It’s a bit of a security blanket I suppose. I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m not really athletic, I’m not exceptionally beautiful (Oh, Jo – your one true beauty! – name that movie), but I’ve always had my academic ability. I had better be a freaking awesome teacher to make up for it! Teaching has actually worked out pretty well for me so far, so I’ll keep working (and keep my fingers crossed) and see how it all works out.

There are a lot of unknowns in my life right now. I don’t really deal well with unknowns … my inner control freak doesn’t allow for a lot of out-of-my-control things in my life without being bothered. It’s a bit annoying really, I wish someone would just tell me what is in store. There is supposed to be some excitement and hope involved in this “trying to find a job” part of my life, and some people really get off on the future possibilities of their life. I’m generally not one of those people. I like order and planning and lists. I’m one of those people who books trips months in advance, and registers for classes the first day I’m allowed to, to minimize the risk that I won’t get into a class that I want or need to take.

Anyways, God has become more important all of a sudden … trusting him means a lot more when there really is no other choice.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about spiritual stuff … to be vague … I don’t think I’ll talk about it all today. Maybe in another blog later (like 4 weeks from now when I can breathe) and maybe never. We’ll see. Its just on my mind.