Too stressed to think of something witty

I knew this would happen. It always does. I think I'm doing so well studying and focusing, and a couple of exams go well and then I hit the wall. I get overwhelmed by what I need to know, and realize I don't have time to learn. By tomorrow I need to know the following:

1. Who is "the historical Jesus"?
2. What does it say about him in Matthew?
3. What does it say about him in Mark?
4. What does it say about him in Luke?
5. What does it say about him in John?
6. What are the messages of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, 1,2,3 John, and Revelation?
7. Anything and everything about the Psychology of Adolescents
8. 5 Chapters of a text book that I haven't picked up since the last midterm in November.

The problem is that I don't have time to know everything well enough. I could handle it if both exams were all mulitple choice. Multiple choice is easy. But no, I have to write essays and short answers. I have to come up with the information myself, "to make sure that you know it" they say, "because we want to test you on what you DO know, not what you don't," they say. Well I have something to say about that! Asking me to know this much information is like asking me to pour all the water in a lake into one glass. In tiny amounts it might work, and eventually you could empty the lake, but it is impossible to know it all at the same time. And it makes my life hell for several days. And no one can really sympathize. Those that are going to write the same tests as I am don't want to or have time to sympathize, because they're going through their own hell, and those that aren't writing any exams give me the "you'll do fine, you've studied so hard" crap. I want someone to suffer with me, not thousands of other students, but someone who is mine to torture with my stress-outs.

A few other things that I'd like to complain about? I've had a headache for the last 2 days that the doctors bloody "Robax Platinum" is doing nothing for. It is on the right side of my brain, which is new and fun, and it goes down the back of my neck into my shoulder. How is this possible? Simple. When you're sitting at a computer staring at a bright screen or sitting on a couch holding your head at a weird angle so that you can see both your notes and the freaking textbook at the same time, your eye muscles and your neck and back muscles get twisted strangely and if you're me, you get a headache that never goes away and which has had no effective treatement for the last 6 years. Another thing? I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrom or whatever the heck you call it. (I'm not typing this in Word, so its going to have tons of mistakes, but if I stare at one more word document I'm going to cry probably, so I thought it best to skip that part). My wrists hurt from typing and writing, because for me to study effectively I have to do more than just read the information, I need to write it and categorize it, and make notes or flashcards. I need to physcially learn it using more movement than just the scanning of my eyes. So, now my fingers and my wrists hurt. Physically, studying is worse for me than climing a mountain, I think!

Ok, I've sort of calmed down. I was feeling completely overwhelmed and almost broke down and cried 15 minutes ago. I was all of a sudden all hot and stuffy feeling, and now I think I might be able to study for a few more hours with the help of Robax Platinum and copius amounts of Tylenol. I'm going to call mom and see if its ok to mix those.

I still have no idea how I'm going to do well on my tests tomorrow. (a little sob)