Today was good. It was great actually. One of the interesting things about having an excessive personality is that you hit extremes sometimes. When I woke up this morning I never would have guessed how it would end. But it ended so much better than I figured it would when it began.
I realized some stuff about a relationship, thanks to a good friend and my big mouth and my blog. Then I freaked out (thats the excessiveness in me) about the speed of things, and didn't know what to do. Then I spilled my guts to the guy I freaked out about, and felt a bit better, and then I talked and talked and talked.
In any case, it was all very necessary, and calming. Sometimes I wonder why people are friends with me. I can be so far up and then so far down, and then I hit this calm where things are a bit more clear, and I'm sure all of this changing makes people confused...
Things in my life needed to slow down, and they will. There's still hope for the future, but the future isn't tomorrow, or even next month. I have time now and I was able to be honest and just talk, and somehow what I said made some sense to who it needed to make sense to.
I just want to press pause sometimes and slow down. My life seems like a freight train this summer, and I need to hit the brakes before I jump the track I think. Tonight that started to happen, and after tomorrow this whole pulling back thing is going to spread to other parts of my life. It has to, or I'm going to go even more crazy than I already am.
To all who are friends with me: thanks for putting up with me. I'm all over the board, and I feel like I just need someone to stop me. So thanks. I know I'm a bit much to deal with sometimes.
(And to Rosie: you are exactly what I needed today. You rock, and I hope you know how special you are.)
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