It's been a while since I've updated this thing. So long that I wonder if I can even still write. New things since then?
I started dating a farmer
I moved to a new town
I married that farmer
I moved to a farm
I now own land
We built a basement
We moved our house onto that basement
We went to Ontario on holidays
We saw some concerts
I spent my first Christmas away from home
I get to be with guy I love every day.
Life is good.
Promise to update again soon.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Twisted Reasoning
Here is my observations from the last 3-4 days:
I've decided that meeting single guys can go one of 2 ways in about the first 3 weeks:
1. Meet new guy - he doesn't immediately have a crush on you - you're nice to him - you get to be friends.
2. Meet a guy - does immediately have a crush on you - you're nice to him - you are leading him on. Bitch!
Sorry for the language, but that's what it seems like. If he doesn't like you, you're screwed if you ever like him back, but if he DOES like you, and you don't return the feelings you're a bitch for leading him on and crushing his heart.
If you flip the situation, though, and it's a guy meeting a girl, and they're nice to the girl, and the girl immediately likes the guy, the girl is an idiot if she assumes the guy likes her.
I'd just like to point out that it's not my fault, being NICE does not constitute leading on, and the whole situation not fair to girls.
I've decided that meeting single guys can go one of 2 ways in about the first 3 weeks:
1. Meet new guy - he doesn't immediately have a crush on you - you're nice to him - you get to be friends.
2. Meet a guy - does immediately have a crush on you - you're nice to him - you are leading him on. Bitch!
Sorry for the language, but that's what it seems like. If he doesn't like you, you're screwed if you ever like him back, but if he DOES like you, and you don't return the feelings you're a bitch for leading him on and crushing his heart.
If you flip the situation, though, and it's a guy meeting a girl, and they're nice to the girl, and the girl immediately likes the guy, the girl is an idiot if she assumes the guy likes her.
I'd just like to point out that it's not my fault, being NICE does not constitute leading on, and the whole situation not fair to girls.
Monday, June 11, 2007
mellow rainy night
Tonight seems like a good night to update the blog. Did some marking, messing about on facebook, watched several (meaning 3) episodes of a very special new show called Maui Fever. I'm feeling pretty good about it all, and now I'm just veggin and mellow and havin a bit of a drink. Jammin to some finger eleven and the fray, chillin in the rain. (ok, the rain is outside, i'm inside but the windows open, so it smells good). I'm feelin like its going to be one of those "random capitalization" nights on the blog. Why capitalize when i just don't feel like it? I'm not teaching, so screw it. I'm a rebel. What can I say?
So, the year is almost done. happy about that. Don't get me wrong, i love my job, i just love the absence of my job a little more. i love the rain, probably equally to the sun, depending on the day. I should be more stressed about the whole "end of the year" thing. I should go do some more marking probably, try to catch up and all. I just don't really care... i'm a bit apathetic about it all really. It'll all get done before the end comes, it always does.
thoughts on life: i'm freaking happy right now. i love living alone, i love that i have friends in random places, i love that i never have to pay for a hotel if i don't want to, i love that wherever i go it's home. Whitecourt is home, Sherwood Park is home, GP is home. I have a pretty great life.
got some news today that made me think. I can't say what it was cause there are apparently 3 people that read this, and its a secret for another month or so. But in any case, it made me think that its about time i got married and all that. i'm at "that age" now. i love my friends, but at some point one of them has got to step up to the plate i figure. hopefully not to long from now, but whatever. like I said, i'm not complaining, just stating a fact.
thats enough for now. I should go mark it up.
So, the year is almost done. happy about that. Don't get me wrong, i love my job, i just love the absence of my job a little more. i love the rain, probably equally to the sun, depending on the day. I should be more stressed about the whole "end of the year" thing. I should go do some more marking probably, try to catch up and all. I just don't really care... i'm a bit apathetic about it all really. It'll all get done before the end comes, it always does.
thoughts on life: i'm freaking happy right now. i love living alone, i love that i have friends in random places, i love that i never have to pay for a hotel if i don't want to, i love that wherever i go it's home. Whitecourt is home, Sherwood Park is home, GP is home. I have a pretty great life.
got some news today that made me think. I can't say what it was cause there are apparently 3 people that read this, and its a secret for another month or so. But in any case, it made me think that its about time i got married and all that. i'm at "that age" now. i love my friends, but at some point one of them has got to step up to the plate i figure. hopefully not to long from now, but whatever. like I said, i'm not complaining, just stating a fact.
thats enough for now. I should go mark it up.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Oh the wonder of facebook. Aside from the obvious heroin-addictiveness that is facebook, there are several other reasons that I love it, one that just struck me like lightnening this morning. And here is it:
Facebook has pseudo replaced the phone. Its actually better than msn, because you don't have the immediate necessity to reply and you can tell people why you aren't on facebook at that moment by using facebook itself. Now some might argue that you can do this in the little msn comment bar, but that still begs the question, well why are you online if you're not available... even if you are set to "away."
By saying [Insert name here] is "going to [insert location]" you've immediately negated all questions that might arise from your absence. You can even go into more detail giving reasons and return times. In some cases it can even remove the need to call someone back - depending on the reason or if they are your facebook friend.
I really need to go now because "[This girl] is going to her parents house for the weekend and hasn't finished packing."
In closing: Thankyou facebook, thankyou.
Facebook has pseudo replaced the phone. Its actually better than msn, because you don't have the immediate necessity to reply and you can tell people why you aren't on facebook at that moment by using facebook itself. Now some might argue that you can do this in the little msn comment bar, but that still begs the question, well why are you online if you're not available... even if you are set to "away."
By saying [Insert name here] is "going to [insert location]" you've immediately negated all questions that might arise from your absence. You can even go into more detail giving reasons and return times. In some cases it can even remove the need to call someone back - depending on the reason or if they are your facebook friend.
I really need to go now because "[This girl] is going to her parents house for the weekend and hasn't finished packing."
In closing: Thankyou facebook, thankyou.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Goals and direction
Apparently anything worth writing about in the last month or so revolves around Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm a little embarrased about this, but not enough to NOT write whats on my mind, so here it goes.
I watched Blood Diamond tonight, alone (which is really not all that surprising) and it made me cry (also not that surprising). Here is a bit of background about me that you might not know:
1. I went to Mali, Africa when I was 16 for 2 months. In hind sight I can't believe my parents let me go, but I was pretty sure of myself and they were pretty sure of God, so it worked.
2. I had no idea what was going on politically or economically in Mali at the time and wasn't worried about it... maybe I wouldn't have gone if I was less ignorant though, so its a good thing probably.
3. What I did want to do was find out what a missionary does. I wanted to be a missionary and so I thought living with one would give me a good idea about what life was like.
4. I don't know if I still want to be a missionary most of the time. Sometimes though, like today, I feel driven to it, like there is a point to it.
Ok, so now to put it all together.
I go through stages when my life feels really pointless. Ok, I'm a teacher, so maybe pointless is the wrong word for it. I know that I'm teaching kids things that matter and for some of them I might be a good person who they like. I feel somewhat... replaceable I guess. I am doing a job that thousands of other people are qualified to do, though. At the U of A, something like 2-3 thousand people graduate from the Faculty of Education each year. So really, even though the kids might like me, and I may even make a difference in a few kids lives over the years, my job is replaceable. If I disappeared completely the school would scramble for a few days, maybe a week tops, and then there would be someone else in my classroom, with my kids, teaching my subjects.
These realizations, however, are not causing me to despair at this moment though. They are really just more background to where I'm going with all this.
I've decided that there is a reason that I'm alone. There is a reason that I haven't lost my faith, and there is a reason that my heart feels pulled to do more than give money when I see movies like Blood Diamond. I'm not built to stay. If I get married, I will marry someone who is ok not being stable or rich, but someone who is driven and needs fulfillment from something other than western success.
So here are my new rough goals for the next few years:
1. Go back to Africa
2. Be Irreplaceable.
3. Be Fulfilled.
Now the qualifier: It's late, I'm tired and ranty, and I don't know what this all will sound like tomorrow morning. I know that right now though, its where my heart is though, and if I need to I'll delete it later.
I watched Blood Diamond tonight, alone (which is really not all that surprising) and it made me cry (also not that surprising). Here is a bit of background about me that you might not know:
1. I went to Mali, Africa when I was 16 for 2 months. In hind sight I can't believe my parents let me go, but I was pretty sure of myself and they were pretty sure of God, so it worked.
2. I had no idea what was going on politically or economically in Mali at the time and wasn't worried about it... maybe I wouldn't have gone if I was less ignorant though, so its a good thing probably.
3. What I did want to do was find out what a missionary does. I wanted to be a missionary and so I thought living with one would give me a good idea about what life was like.
4. I don't know if I still want to be a missionary most of the time. Sometimes though, like today, I feel driven to it, like there is a point to it.
Ok, so now to put it all together.
I go through stages when my life feels really pointless. Ok, I'm a teacher, so maybe pointless is the wrong word for it. I know that I'm teaching kids things that matter and for some of them I might be a good person who they like. I feel somewhat... replaceable I guess. I am doing a job that thousands of other people are qualified to do, though. At the U of A, something like 2-3 thousand people graduate from the Faculty of Education each year. So really, even though the kids might like me, and I may even make a difference in a few kids lives over the years, my job is replaceable. If I disappeared completely the school would scramble for a few days, maybe a week tops, and then there would be someone else in my classroom, with my kids, teaching my subjects.
These realizations, however, are not causing me to despair at this moment though. They are really just more background to where I'm going with all this.
I've decided that there is a reason that I'm alone. There is a reason that I haven't lost my faith, and there is a reason that my heart feels pulled to do more than give money when I see movies like Blood Diamond. I'm not built to stay. If I get married, I will marry someone who is ok not being stable or rich, but someone who is driven and needs fulfillment from something other than western success.
So here are my new rough goals for the next few years:
1. Go back to Africa
2. Be Irreplaceable.
3. Be Fulfilled.
Now the qualifier: It's late, I'm tired and ranty, and I don't know what this all will sound like tomorrow morning. I know that right now though, its where my heart is though, and if I need to I'll delete it later.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Leonardo DiCaprio
Now, for possibly the most shallow and girlie blog of all time. I just watched "The Departed." Do you know what I was thinking? Was it, "Wow, Martin Scorsese sure deserves the Oscar for this one!" or even, "Great movie!" (which it was) or maybe "Wow, these people use the f-word more than anyone else I know."
Nope, it wasn't any of those things. Here is what I was thinking, for the most part:
Leonardo DiCaprio is hot. Not like teen-idol hot. And not, "wow, he's such a great person, I'm really happy with all of his humanitarian efforts around the world and his amazing humility" hot. Just plain hot. He's got the ripped bad boy look down. And I am happy he grew up. So there you go. Apparently Jack Dawson still has something to him.
I'm going to go to bed now. How did it get to be so late?
Nope, it wasn't any of those things. Here is what I was thinking, for the most part:
Leonardo DiCaprio is hot. Not like teen-idol hot. And not, "wow, he's such a great person, I'm really happy with all of his humanitarian efforts around the world and his amazing humility" hot. Just plain hot. He's got the ripped bad boy look down. And I am happy he grew up. So there you go. Apparently Jack Dawson still has something to him.
I'm going to go to bed now. How did it get to be so late?
Friday, February 23, 2007
content
Tonight I know what the word content means. I'm not joyful, not happy. I'm not depressed or sad. I'm just quiet and ok with life. I don't remember the last time I said words. Maybe to my mom on the phone on the way home from work? No, to the guy at the video rental place. That must have been it. Weird. I haven't said anything since before 5:00. That's about 5 hours ago. How can I be such a hermit on Friday night? Its part of the small-town really-tired-teacher package. I'll go to the city and party-it-up next weekend, but for tonight, quietness is ok.
Being alone all the time sucks. There. The same thing I've been saying since I moved here. I hate it. I mean, I like the town, I like the few people I do know here, I like my students, and some of the people I work with, but I hate being alone. Just having someone in the next room watching the crappy Canadian stand-up that is on in the background would be nice. This isn't another pathetic plea for a boyfriend, its just a longing for companionship. I miss my friends, my life, being thought of and included in Friday night stuff. When you move away, you don't get called and invited out. (Hell, you don't even get called period.) My phone bill is retarded. And most of the calls are to my parents. I'm ok being lame, but it would be nice to have a break from it once in a while. Its great to have friends, and I know I have them, and I'm not worried or insecure in my relationships with them so that I would need a nightly call to remind me that I'm still their friend. We talk on msn and things are normal when I visit, but having verbal interaction is necessary, I think. You want to be able to convey emotion and inflection with more than an emoticon sometimes. I know that its expensive and that I'm long distance to everyone, but frick, how unimportant am I that I'm not even worth a few dollars and a couple minutes?
I should explain one thing though. My sister does call. We talk almost every day. And I don't always have to dial. And that means a lot. It would be nice though if my phone rang once in a while (not even every night) and it was just a friend. Like a reminder that I'm important to someone.
Ok, I've managed to slip from content to depressed again. List of things that are good in my life:
- I finally get a day off tomorrow. Nothing scheduled. Just have to catch up on house stuff and work, but no major events.
- We started a new Bible Study on prayer based on a book by Philip Yancey (called Prayer, fittingly) that I'm really excited about. I think it will be good to do some work on it. Regardless of ones beliefs, it seems like prayer is a universal, depending on the situation. If life is bad enough, though, everyone calls to the supernatural for help. Maybe I'll write a blog about it.
- My car is still running. There might be something a little wrong with the wiring in one area, and maybe my tires need to be rotated, but it's started and run perfectly all winter. And this winter, that's saying something.
- I get a 25 minute drive to work each morning. I get to watch the sunrise and every day it's different.
- The week is done. Hallelujah.
- k, I'm better.
Being alone all the time sucks. There. The same thing I've been saying since I moved here. I hate it. I mean, I like the town, I like the few people I do know here, I like my students, and some of the people I work with, but I hate being alone. Just having someone in the next room watching the crappy Canadian stand-up that is on in the background would be nice. This isn't another pathetic plea for a boyfriend, its just a longing for companionship. I miss my friends, my life, being thought of and included in Friday night stuff. When you move away, you don't get called and invited out. (Hell, you don't even get called period.) My phone bill is retarded. And most of the calls are to my parents. I'm ok being lame, but it would be nice to have a break from it once in a while. Its great to have friends, and I know I have them, and I'm not worried or insecure in my relationships with them so that I would need a nightly call to remind me that I'm still their friend. We talk on msn and things are normal when I visit, but having verbal interaction is necessary, I think. You want to be able to convey emotion and inflection with more than an emoticon sometimes. I know that its expensive and that I'm long distance to everyone, but frick, how unimportant am I that I'm not even worth a few dollars and a couple minutes?
I should explain one thing though. My sister does call. We talk almost every day. And I don't always have to dial. And that means a lot. It would be nice though if my phone rang once in a while (not even every night) and it was just a friend. Like a reminder that I'm important to someone.
Ok, I've managed to slip from content to depressed again. List of things that are good in my life:
- I finally get a day off tomorrow. Nothing scheduled. Just have to catch up on house stuff and work, but no major events.
- We started a new Bible Study on prayer based on a book by Philip Yancey (called Prayer, fittingly) that I'm really excited about. I think it will be good to do some work on it. Regardless of ones beliefs, it seems like prayer is a universal, depending on the situation. If life is bad enough, though, everyone calls to the supernatural for help. Maybe I'll write a blog about it.
- My car is still running. There might be something a little wrong with the wiring in one area, and maybe my tires need to be rotated, but it's started and run perfectly all winter. And this winter, that's saying something.
- I get a 25 minute drive to work each morning. I get to watch the sunrise and every day it's different.
- The week is done. Hallelujah.
- k, I'm better.
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